2013 is the year my life was consumed by work - to the point I come back on weekends to try to catch up with work, and the things I do started to get less related to art, and more related to management and dealing with people. I had a very unhealthy lifestyle, and although I learnt a lot on my job, the cons far outweights the benefits. I got burnout, to say the least. And the only work I ever did is for the company's annual artbook project (see the inset picture above). This year, I have a new resolution: F*CK WORK! (please excuse my language, but there's no other better way to put it at this moment of time) I don't hate my job (I try not to...), but when I find myself becoming more of a manager rather than a creative professional, I'm starting to doubt what I'm actually doing here. My current workplace has its perks, no doubt about that (and I did have my raise and promotion...so I can't complain about that either. I am 4 months away to being *Senior*!) but: Dealing with art is one thing. I can feel my art sense get sharper. The amount of retakes I dished out to my team members also gets higher (not my fault, we're doing a high-performance animation production here). Dealing with your nice boss, kind-of-nice director and kind-of-not-so-nice-other-director is another thing. You try pleasing 3 higher-ups without getting killed in the crossfire, and make that a daily routine. I did try to get back, but my soul and sanity is still at stake. Dealing with people is another. I enjoyed mentoring last year's April's batch. Some of them are currently my assistants too, to help lighten some of my workload in the background production. They are that good. The worst batch to date is the November one, which made me start to doubt the new crop of artists that the local art institutions here are churning out. Where's the quality, yo? Pepperidge Farm and myself still remembers the days we learnt the hard way to becoming a better artist, and it all starts with a good art foundation. (I'll save this rant for another post). Dealing with energy-draining-people-who-cannot-paint-to-save-their-ass-yet-getting-a-high-paycheck-every-month is another thing, too. To put it simply, there are a few overpaid a**holes sitting in my team, and due to weird policies, I can't get them removed. There's a loooooong procedure to terminating them. I only succeeded in one, and that one is the one that got away first by self-terminating himself. (I'll share that long story one day). And there are 2 more out there. They're not team players, they are detrimental to our workflow, they have lousy attitude problems --- basically, they are a liability to my team, because not only they make us missed the deadline, they don't feel guilty doing it and have no intention of improving. Why is my company still keeping them?? Beats me too. Hence, weird policy. I'm trying to minimize their damage by the way, but doing that the whole year round took a toll on me --- and by year-end, I basically demanded a long leave, and all my bosses are kind enough to comply. (I did not take any leave the whole damn year. Honest.) 2 weeks in Japan is a bliss. A calm that is too short but long enough to help me recharge. Now it's only February, and I find myself slowly getting bogged down again by all that's mentioned above. So...I want to seek that fine thing called work-life balance. Starting here in my personal spot on the Internet. Can I do a monthly post? I got to try. Weekly post is a stretch, but if it means getting my creative fire back (and not getting utterly frustrated at work on a daily basis), I will do it. No promises though. That's it for this post. Here's to a more fruitful and better Year of the Horse! (and hopefully, a better work life) -Lammy
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The company I'm working at is having an art competition right now, and I'm in the running with 2 entries, if you like this work and if you have a Facebook account (I'm sure you do :D), please vote for me by clicking 'LIKE' on the artwork on the Facebook page here! Every vote counts! Feel free to share the link I've given above to your friends, friends' friends, and anyone you know! Thanks in advance for the support! I have already found employment, so instead of my weekly updates, I'll try my best to post a new work every month (depending on my workload).
In the mean time, I'm still working on the character poster for the [FINAL INVASION] project. This artwork has a very interesting history itself (from its inception to its untimely demise and now, a resurrection!), and even now, it's been through a lot of drafts, re-drafts, tweakings, alternatives --- you name it, I've done it in these past 2 weeks - until TODAY, even. But I'm still NOT satisfied with it. I'm not being hard on myself or anything. But it's because of this work, I'm here today. It taught me a very bitter and painful lesson, and it was also the one that spurred me to fight for everything I've believed in. It showed me how the real world really is, how people really look at your work, and where my level stands, and what I must do to make myself go further in my journey as an artist. Also, it's partly that I want to redeem myself, to learn to forgive myself for my past mistakes. And partly, technically, I still owe the "finished" work to my mentors in my college who have painstakingly showed me the hard way to being an accomplished artist but back then I was too dumb to comprehend what they've been trying to drill into my mind during that time (my dear mentors, if you're reading this, I still want to say I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused.) So, I'm gonna keep working on it in my spare time, and this time, I'm gonna make it work. Not just for my mentors, but most importantly, for the people who've been waiting for it for a while now. And of course, for myself. Thanks to everyone who's been following/watching this site, thanks for the support and kind words, And lastly, MAKE GOOD ART, on the good days as well as on the bad days. (thanks Mr.Gaiman!) Thanks guys! And see you in the next update! -Lammy |
THE GOLDEN RULEDepending on what's being posted, I appreciate feedback/constructive criticisms/greetings/ or even a simple Hi!, Memory Bank
February 2014
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